I Do What I Don't Want To

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do

 

Stuck in this cycle can't stop spinning round

I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but

Nobody else is around

This ain't my battle the fights already been won

So why do I feel so guilty

When I do what I don't want to

Do what I don't want

When I do what I don't want to

 

Then I hear him say

That's why I came

To wipe away your shame and all of your pain

If you feel guilty

That's me working

Inside your brokenness is what I'm fixing

 

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do

 

I know that I'll struggle fall down every day

Never reach the perfection

Only found in your name

I feel so defeated when I know I've let you down

Yet time after time you pick me up off the ground

 

Then I hear him say

That's why I came

To wipe away your shame and all of your pain

If you feel guilty

That's me working

Inside your brokenness is what I'm fixing

 

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do

I do what I don't want to

Can't stop doing what I don't want to do

Don't do what I want to do

Don't do what I want to do 

 
 

When I first opened the Bible, one of the first books I read through was Romans and it quickly became a favorite of mine. A passage that really stuck out to me was Roman 7:15-22 where Paul talks in-depth about sin and the actions of his flesh. The topic of sin has always been one that I've struggled to understand. I am a very black and white type of person. Either something is right or it's wrong and if you do something wrong there are consequences that usually follow. Therefore, the fact that God forgives us time and time again for the sins we commit against him is a difficult concept for me to wrap my head around. 

Maybe there's a lot of work that needs to be done within me regarding forgiveness. If we can be forgiven for any and all things, there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to forgive someone for committing a wrong against me. 

The song lyrics above were inspired by Romans 7:15, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." There are things I do and ways that I react to certain situations that I hate, yet I continue to fall short time and time again, always left with a feeling of guilt. 

As my understanding of christianity has evolved, instead of allowing that feeling of guilt to weigh me down I have become thankful for that feeling. I realize that, if that feeling was not present in me, that would essentially mean that God wasn't present in my life. With every decision I make and every action I take I want to be held accountable. 

It's by the grace of God that we are accepted time after time, because he loves us and desires nothing more than for us to become the individuals he intended us to be. 

So, when you fall short I pray that you feel guilty, but then I pray that you allow the forgiveness of God to flood your heart, so that you continue to be inspired to fight the good fight of becoming the person God created YOU to be.  

Keep singing,

Chris 

Proverbs 16:9

 

p.s. I have a few bags of coffee left, if anybody wants to give it a try! It's REALLY good....just saying!!